Amongst many circles, the Vietnamese noodle soup Phở (pronounced Fuh), is heralded as the best hangover cure known to mankind. What do we say here at Caveday? Phở shizzle.
Phở is a magical soup made of beef, broth and rice noodles. Seriously, its magic. I’ll explain later. It is served in a bowl with thin cuts of well done or rare steak. For the more adventurous sort, tripe (stomach), tendons, liver, chicken hearts, or other risky business can be added. The broth is made from a simmered concoction of which only a level 50 Vietnamese wizard may be privy to the secret. Continue reading
In search of the best hangover cure and the answer to all our prayers, Caveday has stumbled open some weird hangover cures along the way. From herbal remedies to black magic, we’ve seen it all. And frankly, we’re desperate enough to try them.
From the country that created tentacle cartoon porn and vending machines that sell panties, leave it to the Japanese to come up with a strange hangover cure. Meet the umeboshi picked plum. Hungover Japanese people will suck on these sour plums until they dissolve. The idea is that the acid in the umeboshi will break down the alcohol faster. Considering that most Japanese business negotiations happen over sake and whiskey, and Japanese are strong in business, this probably works. I’m going to try it out. Tomorrow morning.
Round 3. The war against bogus hangover cures concludes in this final battle. Caveday.com takes on greasy food, exercise, throwing up, and staying positive.
The Hangover Burger
In every culture across the globe, greasy and fattening food have been a go-to hangover cure for thousands of years. This method for hangover liberation is popular because your appetite is so bass ackwards, that you’ll only let the most delicious food possible enter your mouth. Namely, crap. Hit up your local burger shop, Mexican hole in the wall, diner, or pizza parlor and go nuts. Some of the top picked hangover helpers include breakfast burritos, cheeseburgers, and anything from Denny’s.
Thank you for tuning into part two of this saga for truth. We’ve spent some considerable time in the lab, researching and busting more hangover cures. In this episode, we visit anti-hangover pills, caffeine, and sex as potentials for hangover relief. So next time you look for a hangover helper on Suicide Sunday, remember what you’ve learned from your pals at Caveday and be sure to visit our Hangover Facts page.
We get a lot of questions on the topic: which hangover cures work and which ones don’t? As we already know, the only real remedy is spending time in the darkness drinking water (see Caveday). There is a lot of bullshit floating around on the internet and the topic of hangover cures is no exception. We decided to put together a three part article, laying the smack down on bunk hangover cures. Let us begin on this quest for truth…
acronym: PABs • noun : The feelings of uselessness, embarrassment, and general depression that accompany a hangover. Typically linked to blackout drinking.
The topic of Post Alcohol Blues (PABs) has come up frequently in previous articles. While vomiting, headaches, and lethargy are the prime physical characteristics of a hangover, PABs constitute the hellish mental and emotional symptoms. Typical thoughts during PABs include: “Why does everyone hate me?”, “I’m never drinking again.”, and “What is the point of it all anyways?” The emotional holocaust created by PABs can get to be quite ridiculous. You may find yourself embarrassed to answer phone calls from your friends, unable to make eye contact, or crying over your cat that died in elementary school.
The story is always the same: a friend calls you up on a weekday, “Let’s go grab a beer and watch the game.” Ten beers later and probably a few drunk-dials, you collapse into bed dreading the fate that you’ve sealed for yourself tomorrow at work.
You finally wake up to the alarm that you’ve snoozed 14 times. Then panic sets in. “Holy shit balls, I’m late for work!” The first instinct is to call in sick. It’s not a lie, you’re probably worse than sick. Don’t feel discouraged about wasting a sick day on a hangover. Everyone does it…
It’s morning. The good news: you’re in your own bed. The bad news: you’re wearing the same outfit you wore last night, including the shoes. Your bedroom is trashed. It looks like a hurricane and the Tasmanian devil just had sex in your room. But worst of all, you can’t remember a thing.
You mentally scramble trying to piece together the images of the previous night. It’s hard because your head is throbbing. Zeus himself would fear this hangover. Slowly the images start to materialize. You remember karaoke. You remember body shots. You remember vandalizing a tree. Next to your pillow you find your phone. “OMG, was I drunk dialing last night?” Check the call log. The last call was at 4:35 am. Shit. Fear and regret starts to set in. “What the hell did I do last night? Why do I feel like everyone hates me? That’s because everyone does hate me! Whose friggin keys are in my pocket?” These questions and self-criticisms will often lead to Post Alcohol Blues (P.A.B.s) and are likely to increase hangover symptoms three fold, so beware. Continue reading
caveday • / kāv-dā / • noun
: A day of which activity is minimized due to the effects of a colossal hangover.
Everybody is familiar with Cavedays. You’re hungover. You hate yourself and your one-and-only plan for the day is to do everything in your power just to stay alive. Namely: nothing. It’s time that you blow off all your friends and the drunken promises you made to each other the night before (e.g.: “Dude, I’m DEFINITELY down to meet up and go deep sea fishing tomorrow!”). In actuality you’re not down, the name of the game has become survival.
The origin of Caveday dates back to the dawn of mankind. Our ancestors lived in caves to protect themselves from harsh environmental conditions and the threat of predators. Let’s apply this to a modern day scenario. Modern man faces a greater foe… the hangover. To someone with a hangover, the ice age holds no weight against the elemental nightmare known as sunlight. The velociraptor is no longer a predator. The real threat comes from, simply, people who don’t have hangovers. Productive people such as girlfriends, boyfriends, family and friends threaten us with productive activity such as “getting fresh air” and “walking.” To survive, we must resort back to the instincts of our ancestors and create our cave. Your cave is most likely a living room or a bedroom and the only other acceptable inhabitants are the members of the tribe: the group of misfits that were there slamming those jagerbombs with you the night before. Many have perished in their drunken stupor, but some remain safe by your side.
A true Caveday has the following characteristics:
- Darkness – Shut all the blinds in your house, or better yet, put blankets over all your windows. Sunlight increases the effects of a hangover. Sort of like photosynthesis. See figure 1a below. Continue reading