Top 10 Drinking Games

Happy New Year!  With all of our NYE hangovers finally coming to conclusion, its time to start thinking about our resolutions and how to best keep them.  Or, since we know that they never last anyways, how we can break them with the minimal amount of guilt.  We decided to pay homage to the pastime of drinking games.  In ascending order, we rank the top ten drinking games based on an intricate rating system comprised of two factors: Fun and blackout-potential.

edward 40 hands

10.  Roxanne (Fun: 4, Blackout Potential: 6) – Remember the Police song Roxanne?  To play this game, simply play the song with your friends and every time Sting sings “Roxanne” take a drink.  It may not seem that scary, but I shit you not, they say the magic word 28 times in this 3 minute song.  There’s a stretch about two-thirds through where they repeatedly say it once every three seconds.  The first time I played this game I was seriously afraid for my life.

9. Century Club (Fun: 5, Blackout Potential: 5) – Simple and sweet.  Every minute for 100 minutes,take a shot of beer.  It may seem like nothing, especially in the beginning.  Don’t be a tough guy and take extra drinks in the earlier minutes, you’ll pay for it later.  Towards the end of the game you’ll be hurting for both stomach space and sanity.  Have someone who isn’t playing the game play timekeeper because as the game goes on you’ll either lose count or purposely cheat.  Century Club isn’t for everyone.  It showcases the characteristics of a true marathon drinker and is also known as an honorary right-of-passage in some areas of the world.

8. Drinking Jenga (Fun: 7, Blackout Potential: 3)
– Same as the traditional family game Jenga except each block has a phase written on it which you must perform.  Some examples might be: “drink 4 sips”, “make a rule”, or “kiss the person on your left.”  The fun factor of this game is highly dependent on who wrote the phrases on the Jenga blocks.  If a pervy dude made them, then likely half the game is going to involve making orgasm sounds and flashing your junk.  If a goodie two shoes made them, then its going to have lame shit like “try to spell your last name backwards.”  Before playing, use your judgment skills to decide if its even worth it.

7. Barley and Me (Fun: 5, Blackout Potential: 9) – This is a homegrown Caveday game, developed right here in my living room.  Play the movie “Marley and Me”.  Whenever they say the word “Marley”, take a drink.  Whenever they say “dog”, take a drink.  If they say the words “Marley” and “Dog” in the same sentence, finish your drink.  The first time we test-ran this game, we realized we were fucked when the opening scene had the line, “Marley was a bad dog.”  Other than the first 15 minutes, I have no idea what this movie is actually about.

6. High Low (Fun: 4, Blackout Potential 9)
– Classic drinking game played with cards.  Player one is dealt a card. He or she then guesses whether the next card will be higher or lower than the next card. If wrong, drink once (because one card was showing). If correct, guess again. After taking at least three cards, the player may choose to continue or pass on to the next person, BUT ONLY after having taken at least three cards.  The next player starts where the previous left off.

When a player guesses incorrectly, he or she drinks for each card showing.  The strategy is to build up a lot of cards and then pass it to the next player.  This game is a great character building exercise as people learn to balance fear versus the need to punish their friends.

5. Quarters (Fun: 6, Blackout Potential: 6) – Another classic.  Players sit around a table and try to bounce the quarter off the table into a shot glass. If successful, the player tells any other player to have a drink, as well as receiving another turn. If the player fails, play passes to the next in the circle.  If a player has the skill to make three bounces in a row, this player may make a rule. Anything goes.  I never really got into quarters myself, namely because I sucked at it.  There’s always that nerd-alert guy that was way too good at the game and ruined it for everyone else.

4. Asshole (Fun: 8, Blackout Potential: 7) -  7 cards are dealt to each player.  The rank of the cards is as follows (most powerful to least powerful) 2, A, K, Q, … 4, and 3.  Whoever goes first plays any card and the next person has two options:

  1. to play a card or pair higher than (but not the same) as the previous card.
  2. or to pass on that turn.

This proceeds until all players are rid of their cards. The first player out of cards is the President for the next round, the next out becomes the VP, the next players out are normal, and the last person out is the Asshole.

The roles for each player are as follows:

  • President: Can make any player drink at any time, no one can make the President drink. The President is the first player to start each round and never fills his/her own drink.
  • Vice President: Can make any player drink at any time (except President). The VP goes second in each round.
  • Normal People: These players can make each other drink as well as the Asshole. They play in the order they finished the previous round.
  • Asshole: For many reasons, this player is truly an Asshole. This player has to do deal the cards and can not make any other player drink. The asshole plays last and must play with his finger in his butt for the entire game.  Kidding.  Just checking to see if you’re reading.

3. Vomit (Fun: 0, Blackout Potential: 10) – Another homegrown Caveday game.  Players throw three darts and add up their total score.  Each time a player scores a multiple of 5, the other players must drink for (score/5) seconds.  For example: If someone scores 20, then everyone must drink for 20/5 = 4 seconds.  The danger in this game is due to the fact that triple 20′s are entirely possible (that’s 12 seconds of drinking).  Also, what tends to happen is that one person actually starts to get good at darts and separates themselves from the rest in terms of skill and drunkness.  At that point, its open season.  The game is called vomit because the winner is the one who vomits first and gets to quit.  Be sure to keep a bucket on hand.

2. Edward 40 Hands (Fun: 8, Blackout Potential: 7)
– If Einstein played drinking games, this is what he’d play.  The concept is simply genius.  Duct tape a 40oz of malt liquor to each hand (see figure 1a above).  You’re not allowed to remove either 40oz until both are finished.  The most challenging part of this game is urination.  Tip: have a girlfriend or boyfriend nearby that isn’t playing to assist you with the disrobing.  Make sure you’ve been dating for a while and they already know you’re an idiot.

1. Beer Pong (Fun: 10, Blackout Potential: 9) – Fact: Beer pong is to college as baseball is to America.  In the recent century, beer pong has become a national pastime and even has its own world series.  Hell, even my grandma knows how to play.  Just like ping-pong, this can be played either in singles or doubles. Supplies: players, beer, and a ping-pong table (or make your own, described later).  Each player fills a cup with beer and places it one paddle-width from the end of the table, in the center (or a paddle-width from the side for doubles). Hitting your opponent’s cup earns you a point and requires the opponent to sip (5 sips to a cup). If you get the ball in your opponent’s cup, you are awarded 5 points and the opponent must drink whatever remains in the cup (excluding the ball).

This game is single-handedly the largest cause of college absenteeism and poor performance since its inception.  At the same time, it has pushed the human potental to new limits.

Travel hint: Beer pong nets can be created using some string, two chairs, and three or four paper towels.

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