Matt Elmore, Bangkok – Currently, I’m waiting at a train station, probably still drunk from the last few weeks of complete party mayhem. Although it might not show, I think I’ve finally cracked the code on how to properly rage and survive in this warzone of a country, Thailand. This is the third time I’ve been here and by golly, I’ve earned my blackbelt. For those who’ve traveled to Thailand, I think you’ll agree with these survival tips wholeheartedly. For those planning to go, consider this article to be your new bible.
Round 3. The war against bogus hangover cures concludes in this final battle. Caveday.com takes on greasy food, exercise, throwing up, and staying positive.
The Hangover Burger
In every culture across the globe, greasy and fattening food have been a go-to hangover cure for thousands of years. This method for hangover liberation is popular because your appetite is so bass ackwards, that you’ll only let the most delicious food possible enter your mouth. Namely, crap. Hit up your local burger shop, Mexican hole in the wall, diner, or pizza parlor and go nuts. Some of the top picked hangover helpers include breakfast burritos, cheeseburgers, and anything from Denny’s.
Thank you for tuning into part two of this saga for truth. We’ve spent some considerable time in the lab, researching and busting more hangover cures. In this episode, we visit anti-hangover pills, caffeine, and sex as potentials for hangover relief. So next time you look for a hangover helper on Suicide Sunday, remember what you’ve learned from your pals at Caveday and be sure to visit our Hangover Facts page.
We get a lot of questions on the topic: which hangover cures work and which ones don’t? As we already know, the only real remedy is spending time in the darkness drinking water (see Caveday). There is a lot of bullshit floating around on the internet and the topic of hangover cures is no exception. We decided to put together a three part article, laying the smack down on bunk hangover cures. Let us begin on this quest for truth…
acronym: PABs • noun : The feelings of uselessness, embarrassment, and general depression that accompany a hangover. Typically linked to blackout drinking.
The topic of Post Alcohol Blues (PABs) has come up frequently in previous articles. While vomiting, headaches, and lethargy are the prime physical characteristics of a hangover, PABs constitute the hellish mental and emotional symptoms. Typical thoughts during PABs include: “Why does everyone hate me?”, “I’m never drinking again.”, and “What is the point of it all anyways?” The emotional holocaust created by PABs can get to be quite ridiculous. You may find yourself embarrassed to answer phone calls from your friends, unable to make eye contact, or crying over your cat that died in elementary school.
It’s morning. The good news: you’re in your own bed. The bad news: you’re wearing the same outfit you wore last night, including the shoes. Your bedroom is trashed. It looks like a hurricane and the Tasmanian devil just had sex in your room. But worst of all, you can’t remember a thing.
You mentally scramble trying to piece together the images of the previous night. It’s hard because your head is throbbing. Zeus himself would fear this hangover. Slowly the images start to materialize. You remember karaoke. You remember body shots. You remember vandalizing a tree. Next to your pillow you find your phone. “OMG, was I drunk dialing last night?” Check the call log. The last call was at 4:35 am. Shit. Fear and regret starts to set in. “What the hell did I do last night? Why do I feel like everyone hates me? That’s because everyone does hate me! Whose friggin keys are in my pocket?” These questions and self-criticisms will often lead to Post Alcohol Blues (P.A.B.s) and are likely to increase hangover symptoms three fold, so beware. Continue reading